My biggest fear is that I will be a failure. That said, probably my biggest spiritual struggle is thinking that I'm a failure as a Christian. Yesterday in his sermon, my dad asked what we think would be written on our tombstones, and the first thing that came to my mind was, "She tried." I was overwhelmed by a resounding thought: I'm a really bad Christian.
I mess up. A lot. More than you'd ever guess. In worse ways than you could imagine.
But that's where perspective comes in. My Christian life is not about me. It's not about my performance. My failures, my sins, do not in any way at all affect my standing before God. IT'S ALL PAID FOR.
That's so hard for me to believe sometimes! But I just have to shift my perspective- off of myself and onto my Savior. I mess up- but that's the whole point! God loves me and helps me and sustains me and strengthens me and lavishes His grace upon me IN SPITE OF ME.
The moment God helped me see that perspective, I was flooded with indescribable joy. The freedom that comes from knowing that my spiritual status is not dependent on me is beautiful!
Hallelujah, we're free to struggle...
I lose my way and I forget about You, but You still remember me...
Oh, what an amazing love I see- that Your grace has come to me!
Also, this video is EXACTLY what I need to hear when I'm feeling like a spiritual failure. It is so so so helpful!
Also, I love my little siblings. They're awesome. :)
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