The commissioning service. Standing in a little huddle with the five most important people in the universe. An arm around each of my parents, fighting hard against the impending tears as each member of my family prays in a quivering voice for God's blessing upon my first semester of school.
Receiving very good news and very bad news. Feeling sure that this is where God wants me, but still feeling guilty that I have such a happy, easy life when others are suffering so immensely.
Having dinner and praying and singing praises with my friends from home who are also at Boyce. Laughing till my stomach hurts and experiencing a sudden assurance that everything will be okay here. Even better than okay.
Full days of rich classes. Dr. Baise's Hamilton references. Dr. Orrick's stories about hitchhiking to Maine to catch a lobster. Mrs. O's sass. Dr. Martin's passion for theology and for Nacho Libre. Dr. Tucker's hospitality.
Joyful mornings of smiles and sarcasm and the sweet realization I think we're going to be friends.
Painful nights of wondering whether or not I'm doing anything right. Fearing the disappointment and disapproval of others. Wishing for a stronger "sense of belonging". Dragging my feet instead of running to the Lord who loves me.
Edifying, convicting, encouraging sermons. Moving moments of worship, lifting my broken song in harmony with hundreds of likeminded brothers and sisters. Praying each week with a faithful group who welcomes me in and pushes me on in my pursuit of the Lord.
Weeping for fellow believers who are suffering so deeply. Begging God to bring healing of every kind, and fighting hard to trust His will.
Mountains of assignments that seem insurmountable. Endless pages of reading. Cramming for tests. Submitting papers at 11:58 pm. Downing multiple cans of Coke just to stay awake during afternoon block classes.
Laughing hysterically and baring my soul and everything in between with my precious suitemates. Signing in for the night earlier than anyone else. Watching Gilmore Girls and quizzing each other for finals. Praying and sharing struggles and bearing burdens and asking for fashion advice. Giving thanks for them every single day.
Formatting footnotes.
Waffles and ice cream for dinner during finals week. Cafeteria eggs(?) for breakfast every week.
Casting my anxieties on the One who cares for me. Sneaking to His throne and picking them up again. Casting them back on Him. Praying for grace to break the cycle of worry.
Watching all the soccer games. Being a ballboy in the freezing cold rain. Wishing there was a women's team.
Playing with adorable and hilarious kids at my childcare job. Developing a hatred toward bounce houses.
Reading Knowing God and eating home-cooked meals with my beautifully multi-cultural small group.
Homesickness and homework.
Charissa. <3
Walking around campus, drinking in the beauty and history of this place and wondering that I get to be part of its story.
Being overwhelmed by the beauty of the changing seasons in Louisville, by the sovereign love of God, by the people He has placed around me. Giving thanks without ceasing. Realizing that there is so much to be thankful for- too much to even express.
Seeing the Lord grow me in Christlikeness a little bit at a time. Seeing the Lord answer every prayer and learning to lean hard on Him. Seeing the Lord, in His Word and in His people.
Driving home at the close of the semester, feeling excited to be with my family but slightly sad to be leaving a place of such rich beauty and blessing. God is good. So much more than I realized and infinitely more than I deserve.
I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness You have shown to Your servant (Genesis 32:10)
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 107:1)
until next year, boyce.
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